12 Relationship Book Recommendations from Peninsula Friends of the Library By Colleen Cotter Best Friend of the PVPLD
12 Relationship Book Recommendations
from Peninsula Friends of the Library
February is the month of love and relationships blooming from somewhat interested to “I love you”. SJ Scott researched the top books on relationship building; those listed below are amongst the most popular, best rated and best reviewed books on relationships available. SJ Scott does a great job of breaking down what each book offers.
Some of these books give couples tools they can use to build strong relationships, restore trust and be mindful. Other books focus on how to get rid of the bad habits that drive our partner's to distraction. I hope one or two of these books hit a note with you and can help you to the next level in relationship building.
1. The Relationship Cure: A 5-Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman
New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman provides readers with tools that they need in order to make their relationships succeed. He reveals the elements of a relationship that he believes to be critical, with special emphasis on the importance of an emotional connection.
By introducing the powerful concept of the “bid,” Gottman gives his readers an extraordinary set of tools to repair relationships. He as the ability to open the eyes of many people who are stuck in poorly functioning relationships.
The Relationship Cure includes many questionnaires and exercises that have been developed in light of his therapy. Gottman offers a simple yet intense program to help fundamentally transform the quality of relationships. While a few readers have found that the information in this book is difficult to take in, once they apply the process to their actual lives, it all comes together and makes sense.
2. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary D. Chapman
This is a classic book that is recommended to many people who are trying to work on their relationships and figure out why their needs or expectations are not being met. While falling in love may be easy, staying in love is a challenge. The 5 Love Languages show people struggling in their relationships an approach to showing and receiving love that will allow them to experience a deeper level of intimacy with their partners.
The 5 Love Languages is both practical and insightful. It has been around for a long time, and continues to be popular, with its updates that reflect the modern complexities of couple relationships. It addresses intrinsic truths and applies relevant and actionable knowledge in ways that are effective.
The 5 Love Languages includes a “couple's personal profile” assessment so readers can learn what their own love languages are, as well as the love languages of their partners. People recommend this book and have found it to be inspiring and well-worth the read. The only complaint some people professed was a wish that the book included more real-life examples and stories of how people have had success applying the ideas to their personal lives.
3. Mindful Relationship Habits: 25 Practices for Couples to Enhance Intimacy, Nurture Closeness, and Grow a Deeper Connection by SJ Scott and Barrie Davenport
Living in this chaotic world often makes us push our relationships to the side. They get lost in the shuffle with our everyday activities, and some positive habits that help our relationships flourish may even be neglected.
This can lead to arguments that go unresolved, and even thoughts of if your life could be better if you didn't have to deal with your relationship. This book talks about building mindful relationship habits in order to keep your relationship a priority in your life, and have only positive interactions with your partner.
This book is full of wisdom, advice, and useful strategies that people need to make their relationships truly work. The authors argue that people can improve their current relationships, or heal broken relationships.
4. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide From the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman, PhD
This guide offers practical advice for making a marriage work. While other books tend to be based on a lot of theories, this book approaches the topic from a scientific perspective, including statistics and data.
Author John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage through his scientific procedures, which look at the detailed habits of married couples over many years. This book sums up his work with seven principles that guide couples through life-long relationships.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work includes questionnaires and exercises for any reader who wants to bring their relationship to its best potential. There is a lot of basic relationship advice in this book that can even be applied to relationships other than marriage, such as those with friends, co-workers, and neighbors.
5. Conflict-Free Living: How to Build Healthy Relationships for Life by Joyce Meyer
Common conflicts between people put a strain on any type of relationship, and especially a marriage. Conflicts have destructive effects that lead to both hostility and aggression.
Joyce Meyer makes the argument in this book that it is possible to live a happy life that is free from conflict. In this book, she uses personal anecdotes and instruction inspired by the Bible to clearly demonstrate how people can have healthy and happy relationships.
In each chapter of this book, she includes a summary and questions to help readers see the destructive effects of conflict in their own lives, and explore its causes.
This book on relationships has down-to-earth ideas for living a better life. The author's energy and messages of personal struggle and success are inspiring. The author also offers a helpful lesson on choosing one's own attitude, and choosing to think positively. While this book is chiefly religious, it also offers a common-sense approach to happy living that can be useful to people of any religion.
6. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: Practical Guide for Improving Communication by John Gray
This book has become one of the most well-known relationship guides in existence today. It offers a practical and proven method to help readers better understand the opposite sex.
Gray seeks to improve the communication in relationships by acknowledging the differences between men and women when it comes to needs, wants, and behaviors. The evidence-based insights in this book are sure to help you strengthen your relationships for the long term.
This classic book on understanding the opposite sex articulates a good framework for the generalities of men and women without making broad assumptions.
Gray gives a lot of effective strategies for reconciliation, which is helpful for those who are in tumultuous relationships. However, some think that this book favors men, and gives them excuses to pass off certain responsibilities to women. This “must read” book does offer good insights, but in some ways, it seems to give men a pass to gloss over their poor behavior because “they are men.”
7. Social Wealth: How to Build Extraordinary Relationships by Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Lead and Network by Jason Treu
This book explores the habits and secrets of people who are successful in all areas of their lives, including relationships. When one is able to have social wealth, they are more likely to be successful. Everything we do in our lives incorporates different people in some way. No one gets to where they want to be alone, with no help.
As you are developing your relationships throughout life, you need to nurture them so they can work for you. Try to get connected to people who can help you achieve your goals.
Social Wealth provides a blueprint of the tips that people need to become successful in their fields. No one is born knowing how to do their job. Learned skills can only be gained while one is on the job and learning how a company really works.
This is a great book for people who want to be social in their business endeavors, but need some direction. This guide provides readers with a high-quality strategy that is built on skills and confidence about learning new things.
This book is written clearly and is easy to understand. The concepts are easy to grasp, and the reasoning behind them is clear. Readers have also found the step-by-step instructions to be helpful.
8. Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships by James C Petersen
This book details the experiences of the author's 40 years of work in counseling and pastoral ministry to help improve other people's communication and relationships. Peterson offers a talker-listener card process, as well as listening techniques that can be used right away to help couples cooperate with each other.
Readers have found that this book is an eye-opener. It is very helpful in teaching the reader effective listening skills that can be beneficial in their relationships. This insightful book is enjoyable to read as a sensible guide to improving communication.
9. Power Cues: The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, and Maximizing Your Personal Impact by Nick Morgan
This book talks about taking control of your communication without allowing anyone else to do so.
Nick Morgan, a communication expert, discusses how humans are programmed to nonverbal cues such as gestures, signals, and sounds that all bring about an emotion. He then gives the reader a clear framework for seven power cues that are vital for being successful in business and other contexts.
This relationship book teaches critical skills, from gauging people's confidence to analyzing people's vocal tones and figuring out what your gut is telling you to do. The goal of this book is to help readers communicate better and command more power within their businesses.
10. Why Motivating People Doesn't Work…and What Does: The New Science of Leading, Energizing, and Engaging by Susan Fowler
This book is not about relationships such as dating and romance. Instead it is about interpersonal relationships. It teaches people how to communicate with others and effectively motivate people around you.
The first thing it teaches is why traditional methods of motivation are ineffective. If you want someone to truly be committed to excellence, you have to know how to give people a profound sense of fulfillment. Applying her recent research, Fowler lays out a tested process for allowing people to motivate themselves so they will increase their productivity and have a sense of purpose.
Traditional motivational techniques may result in short-term gains, but once the extrinsic motivation is gone, people are no longer committed to the mission. The techniques that are typically offered to motivate people make them focus on the reward or the punishment instead of their jobs.
The process laid out in this book shows leaders how to steer clear of the expectation for external rewards and help employees see how their jobs can give them a sense of satisfaction that is better than external rewards. This is a great book for people who are trying to learn how to motivate people better.
11. The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine Aron
This is a great book for people who tend to fall in love easily, but fear the intimacy that comes next. Once in a relationship, people often become sick of being reminded of their flaws, or disrespected by their partners in some way. This may make someone feel like they are too sensitive to be in a long-term relationship.
Half of what determines divorce is actually a person's temperament. If you are among the 20% of people who are very sensitive, you have a high risk of getting into an unhappy relationship. Without understanding, the fact that you are sensitive is probably having a huge impact on your relationship.
The Highly Sensitive Person in Love is based on Elaine N. Aron’s research on temperament and intimacy, and offers practical advice for sensitive people who want to be in a happy relationship. Readers have found that this book offers a lot of practical advice on making the most of personality combinations. Many readers appreciate the eye-opening self-tests and the results of a survey that was performed on sex and temperament.
12. 47 Little Love Boosters For a Happy Marriage: Connect and Instantly Deepen Your Bond No Matter How Busy You Are by Marko Petkovic
This is a great book whether your relationship is new or one that has gone on for years. It gives a lot of great information for anyone who wants to find new ways to keep the fire burning in their relationship.
47 Little Love Boosters will help the reader discover simple things that successful couples do to show their love to each other and connect with their loved ones in only a few minutes a day.
This is a refreshing book about how to boost your marriage or long term relationship with simple acts of kindness. Petkovic speaks from personal experience when he details how he almost lost his own marriage before deciding to make a deliberate effort to make things work.
This great little relationship book is the perfect reminder that even with our busy daily lives, it is easy to put our relationships aside. It is best to not lose sight of the most precious things in life. It doesn't take much effort or time to make someone in your life know that you care about them.
Colleen Cotter is the Executive Director of the Peninsula Friends of the Library. The Friends raise money to support Palos Verdes Library District which is an award-winning special district with a highly driven staff that works hard to bring our community unique, fun and educational programs. The Friends supports over 1000 programs, Sunday Hours, the Teen Annex, online resources, capital improvements and more.