Tending to Your Happiness By Writer and Contributor Diana Starr
Happiness is often imagined as something bright and effortless—a feeling that arrives when life is orderly and stays as long as nothing goes wrong. Yet anyone who has lived through uncertainty knows this version of happiness rarely lasts. The more enduring kind is quieter. It doesn’t eliminate stress or sorrow; it steadies us in their presence.
In seasons of pressure—whether driven by work, family demands, or the wider world—happiness becomes less about chasing joy and more about learning how to stay rooted. Getting a solid routine of practicing happiness in your daily life is, well, life-changing.
Redefining What Happiness Looks Like
True happiness is not constant cheerfulness. It is a sense of inner balance that allows space for worry, grief, or fatigue without being consumed by them. When we stop insisting that we must feel “fine” at all times, something unexpected happens: ease returns.
There is a profound freedom in allowing life to be imperfect. Happiness, in this sense, is not fragile. It bends. Let’s face it – the joyful moments come and go, but if you practice some of these recommendations below, a basic sense of general well-being and happiness can always simmer below the turbulence of life. It does take some time and planning – and you do have to commit to maintain it – like any good thing worth doing.
The Power of Small, Anchoring Rituals
Happiness is surprisingly responsive to small, familiar comforts: A morning walk, a cup of tea enjoyed without distraction, a few moments of stillness before the day begins—these simple rituals create rhythm, and rhythm creates calm.
In stressful times, this predictable routine becomes a form of care. It reminds us that even when much is uncertain, not everything is.
Connection as a Source of Steadiness
Human connection has a quiet way of restoring us. Not through constant conversation or grand gestures, but through being seen and understood.
A shared laugh, an honest exchange, or walking alongside someone in silence can soften even the hardest days. When stress urges us inward, connection gently draws us back out—back into perspective, and back into ourselves. Making time for a quick lunch or walk with a friend can go a long way in keeping us grounded.
Gratitude – It’s not Overrated!
Gratitude is sometimes misunderstood as forced optimism. In truth, it is an act of attention. It does not ask us to ignore what hurts; it invites us to notice what holds us.
Photo by Pulse Contributor Dianne Gowder
A beautiful sky, a kind word, a moment of rest—these do not erase difficulty, but they add dimension to our days. Over time, this awareness reshapes how we experience even the most challenging moments. Are you pausing to take in the scenery? I sometimes just pull over to see the beauty of the Port of Los Angeles or the sunset over PV. There is a lot of AWE in the world when you slow down and look for it.
Move the Body, Calm the Mind
There is a quiet intelligence in the body that the mind often forgets. Movement—especially outdoors—restores a sense of harmony between the two.
In places like Palos Verdes, where nature is never far away, a walk along a coastal path or a pause to watch the ocean can be more than exercise. It becomes a reminder of continuity, of something larger and steadier than our immediate concerns.
If you don’t find the time for a hike in your daily life, schedule it. Maybe sign up for an exercise class at the local city recreation center. They are affordable and now that a class is on your schedule, you have to do it. Believe me – you will be happy you did!
Find Meaning When the Pressure is On
Pleasure is fleeting, but meaning endures. In stressful times, happiness often grows from contributing rather than consuming—from caring for others, offering help, or creating something of value.
Purpose does not need to be grand. Small acts of kindness, generosity, and presence anchor us in a sense of belonging and usefulness that sustains the spirit. Look around your neighborhood and you are likely to find a lonely senior. Reach out, lend a hand. Or bring some old towels to the local animal shelter.
The Gentle Practice of Self-Compassion
Perhaps the most overlooked element of happiness is kindness toward oneself. Stress often comes with harsh inner commentary: I should be handling this better. Yet resilience grows faster in an atmosphere of understanding. Don’t “should” on yourself!
Self-compassion allows us to rest when needed, to acknowledge limits without judgment, and to move forward without self-criticism. It turns happiness from a performance into a relationship—one we build with ourselves over time.
Happiness as Something We Tend
Happiness is not a finish line. It is a living thing—something we tend through shifting seasons and unexpected weather. Some days it thrives. Other days it simply endures. Both are part of a life well lived.
Diana Starr is a SoCal native who grew up barefooted on Venice Beach. After college she moved to Phoenix, AZ and then to Seattle, WA where she began her family. After having two busy little boys, she and her family jumped at the opportunity to return home to enjoy the sun and sand. Diana has written several books, likes to volunteer, loves to travel and sample the beautiful things in life.