How to Be a Lie Detector By International Hypnosis Federation President, Author, Artist and More Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD
“What a tangled web we weave when first we venture to deceive.”
You can easily spot white lies to whoppers when you take heed. After all is said and done, you’re a natural energy reader; it’s in your neurology. Anxiety shows itself with nerve/hormonal responses and unconscious attempts to sooth nervousness.
Ask a little child, “Where did the cookies go?” and they may look down and away, bite their lip, or fidget about. This gives them time to conjure up a whopper.
Body language is your first language. You “read” your mother from the inside. Then, with the light of day, you naturally “read” her from the outside. To this day, you intuitively note the energy and body cues others give to determine if they’re safe, dangerous, stable or unstable. When you consciously pay attention, you easily notice tell-tale signs of a liar.
Here are helpful guidelines to awaken this perception
1. OVERVIEW SCAN. First establish a baseline of their normal body language before labeling someone as shady because some behaviors can be attributed to nervousness. Next, notice the overall demeaner of their body, voice, energy and responses. Deception comes in incongruous clusters. Ask yourself, “are they coherent or out-of-sync?”
2. FACE FACTS. Studies say that micro-expressions may speak louder than words. Nuances like a red face or blushing; show discomfort. Flared nostrils, deep breaths, and rapid blinks are also clues to a brain that is working overtime to fabricate or hide something. A micro smirk or frown that mismatches words can be a big clue to deception.
SMILES and LIPS. Well, shut my mouth… Notice if they put their hand over their mouth. A true smile incorporates lips and eyes. A smile in the wrong place may be used to mask true feelings. It’s the same with licking or nibbling of the lips and some folks put their tongue over their canine teeth when being deceptive.
3. EYE WATCHING. Notice eye movement changes. If they don’t look up in the same way. When eyes move or dart up and to their right (if they are right-handed) may also be a tell-tale sign that they’re telling tales. and conjuring up an image. Notice sudden steadfast eye contact when they would not normally do that.
Most people try to maintain eye contact when lying so that they appear sincere. Or, they look away and avoid your gaze. Or they cover their eyes when asked a simple question. (Note; there can be cultural differences in eye gazing… so be sure to notice differences from your original base line assessment). Count eye blinks: twelve to fourteen more eye blinks is a tip-off of a lie.
4. BODY LANGUAGE. More clues: arms and legs that move inward with less movement; One shoulder up and one down or shoulders raised up. Hands behind their back may be used to hide fidgety fingers or finger pointing; Rocking, stepping back is another biggie. If they say “yes” as they nod their head “no;” or if they cross their arms and legs they are displaying their discomfort and deception.
5. VOICE CUES. Note changes in speech, pitch and breath. If speech speeds up or slows down with a pregnant pause, most likely you’re not being given the whole truth. Or, if they have nothing to say but that doesn’t stop them and they go on and on with a long-involved answer, make note. Some deceive by omission and when asked to repeat a story often get tripped up in details or tell a different tale. Others try to bury you with more and more information. Sometimes truncated words (“Nice to be here”) are an attempt to bide.
Phrases like, “honestly,” “To tell the truth,” and “To be perfectly honest,” may underscore a lie.
Liars usually avoid exclusionary “but,” “nor,” “except,” and “whereas” and complex thought and they avoid self-referencing pronouns like “I,” “me,” and “mine” to suddenly speak in the third person. (example; “People can be thoughtless.”). This is an attempt to distance themselves from a tall tale.
Be especially wary is they say, “I swear on a stack of Bibles” and “As God is my witness.”
Oh, one more thing: Many a truth is said in jest and, for sure, if someone brags about what a good liar they are… you’d best believe them! For once they’ve just told you the truth.
Dr Shelley’s next hypnosis certification class is July 26th-29th in Rancho Palos Verdes. She only takes ten students. www.hypnosisfederation.comShelley Stockwell-Nicholas, PhD
310 541 4844
thank you
Shelley Stockwell-Nicholas: Adjunct college teacher and author of 27 books, who credits her successes to remaining curious and asking “why?” and “says who?” She can be reached at 310 541-4844. She offers training in self-hypnosis and hypnosis.